bblogo All gone wrong
© Reinhard v. Bronewski

"The Lord usually punishes our sins and stupidities straightaway". Whether the Americans knew this saying, I don't know, but even today I think back to one particular experience and it still makes me smile. I had come across some soldiers, and they were setting up their positions along a horse trail.

Some of them were acting particularly restless and agitated. I quickly noted the reason for their behavior. Swearing loudly, the soldiers kept beating each others' uniforms. They had obviously not yet realized that their positions were situated directly on a so-called "ant path". It made sense for the little forest dwellers to draw attention to themselves in their own way, in the form of painful bites. I showed the Americans the ant path which led directly towards a nearby ant-hill. I certainly hadn't expected or intended what happened next. All that the soldiers could think of was revenge. Several of them gathered around the ant-hill, one of them held a light gray practice grenade in his hand. After he had dug a hole into the hill, just above the surface of the ground, I guessed what they were planning and carried myself off to a safe distance. Shortly afterwards, just what I had been fearing happened. The soldier with the simulator jerked at the pull-out fuse and stuck the explosive device into the hole that had been prepared. To my astonishment, the GIs only stood back a few yards, as the grenade exploded loudly after a shrill whistle.

After the thick white cloud of smoke had dispersed, I was able to see that where the ant hill had been there was now only a smoldering hollow. And it was raining ants. Thousands of tiny red forest ants rained down amongst dry foliage and dirt onto the baffled soldiers. I couldn't stop my laughing. Just like in a movie, the Americans performed a kind of Red Indian dance, screaming loudly amongst each other. "Fucking ants"....those words I heard over and over. The soldiers were covered with the little creepy crawlies. As they had all taken their helmets off, the little creatures weren't just on their uniforms, but on their necks, under their collars and in their hair as well. I'm sure the troops felt the consequences of their stupidity for a long time afterwards. The little forest dwellers did actually manage to put a whole platoon of soldiers temporarily out of action. In any case, the GIs who were affected were certainly taught a lesson that they no doubt didn't forget in a hurry.

On one occasion, my day ended unluckily, when I left a U.S. unit and, following the sound of the shots, suddenly found myself amidst the German riot police. They too carried out regular blank cartridge practices in the Grunewald. At that time, the riot police were still equipped with the old allied infantry weapons. With the riot police, drill and routine still prevailed, unlike with the Americans. But it still looked rather funny whenever the "pillars of the people", as we called them, marched past in their out of fashion overalls. On their heads they wore either their tight blue or their green soft caps. Because the riot police usually picked up their expended shells by themselves, we were spared the bother of having to search for them. On that particular day, the young police men obviously didn't feel like collecting up their brass themselves. Instead, laughing, they took my brass that I was transporting as always on my bike carrier, and then left their own expended cartridges lying around on the ground. Well, like I said, it all went wrong!

Another story springs to mind for this chapter. The soldiers particularly liked horse trails, because they had more peace and quiet and were hidden from nosy observers. Normal visitors to the Grunewald, whether by foot or on their bicycles, avoided these sandy trails because of the inconvenience. Of course it was quite clear that the Americans couldn't get rid of me and my rivals that easily. There weren't many horse riders, but whenever soldier and horse crossed paths, it usually ended in chaos. Many horses reared up and bolted whenever they suddenly spotted well-camouflaged GIs. It was a particularly foolish idea to then open blank fire, which the soldiers often did simply out of mischief. One time I watched a soldier fire a whole magazine in one long burst at a horse, just for fun. The surprised female rider was sent flying out of her saddle and fortunately landed on the soft and churned up sandy ground. The GI had a rather stupid expression on his face as the woman jumped up and suddenly started to whip him all over with her riding crop. Wow, she really was upset! His comrades, who in the meantime had caught the startled horse and were holding onto him, really made fun of him, and so the day had gone all wrong for this joker as well. Still in a very bad mood, the woman who had endured her sudden, unplanned dismount, continued her unforgettable ride.

Another day I experienced an unusual incident in the Grunewald. For a moment I thought I was in an action movie scene, but it was reality! Like always in the afternoon, I spent my time in the forest looking for Berlin Brigade troops. That day I was on foot, hiking down a sandy trail towards Havelchaussee. Opposite of the AVUS, an American recon platoon was conducting field training. There were a bunch of jeeps with mounted M-60 machine guns and 106mm recoilless rifles. Several times I'd heard automatic weapons firing. Suddenly the firing was very close to me. A moment later, a big black 4-door Wolga sedan came from my front with high beamed headlights blazing and horn blowing. What the hell was that?! Inside the car I recognized four Soviet soldiers in uniform, wearing their big well known round hats. They almost ran over me! The car passed at high speed, leaving a huge cloud of dust. I barely had time to jump to the side of the sandy trail! Following the Soviet car, at about 50 yards, were four or five U.S. recon jeeps, their M-60 machine guns firing blanks in long bursts at the Wolga! No doubt, the gun jeeps chased that "spy vehicle" out of the Grunewald, but the GIs probably didn't realize that they had risked their lives! It's difficult to imagine what could have happened if another military vehicle had come from the opposite direction of that escaping Wolga, blocking its way! The dirt trail was only about 5 feet wide. The Soviets were probably unarmed and I do not know how they'd been ordered to defend themselves if they became trapped! I'm told that Soviet guards at their training sites carry live ammo only. That made it easy for unauthorized people in their training areas to get shot. Thank the Lord, nothing bad happened! About half a mile ahead, the Soviet car finally reached the paved Havelchausee and sped away towards the British sector. As I was picking up all the expended M-60 brass, which was spread down the trail for about 400 yards, the recon jeeps came back; their crews laughing loudly. For them it had been a fools game only. Soviet military cars were always sneaking around U.S. Army facilities, but I had never before and after seen them in the Grunewald. That day for the Soviets had definitely "all gone wrong".

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Remembering a friend